Random String of Thoughts...

yes you were right, i'm afraid, afraid to be right, afraid to be wrong, and afraid of myself with you, so much control and power of the situation and even more now, so that's why i live in silence now, i wonder about you constantly, living in a world where i'm allowed to see you but no longer speak to or touch you, dreading each day, maybe i'll see you, more worried that i won't, and i lied, BIGTIME, and denied all of the above, when i should have just been honest with what was going on inside my head, but no, no no no no no no no no no, i'm stupid, and it'll haunt me for awhile, but i'm sure we'll both move forward, and i know i can't take it back, but i still replay the damn video in my head, maybe i was afraid that you weren't REALLY going to give me a second chance, because you were already so skeptical? but maybe, one day, the hopeless romantic inside of me will be able to come out and i won't put him away, and just maybe something will last, and the hunger for more will subside and i won't feel as though i'm settling for what everyone else wants for me, and i'll be able to talk about what my wants and needs as if they are a part of me, instead of something bigger, and something/someone will side with me and feel just as i have, and will give me something to hold on to, or rather, i'll give them something to hold on to, but for now, i will pray for my salvation and redemption and know that one day i will be free...