Monday, November 22, 2010

Riggle me this, funny man.

I apologize for not having written in awhile. It's been a hectic couple of weeks and I've been busy writing other things. But, I can't control the urge to write this week about things that I am thankful for.

Yes, it's that time of year that the day of thanks roles around and we all start getting a little misty eyed telling everyone we know how grateful and "thankful" we are that they are around. Or maybe it's the one time a year you call your grandmother. I think all of that is bullshit. I, personally, like to give thanks everyday for what I've been given. I'm not really trying to say, "i'm better than you," but, ok, maybe a little. HAHA. Just kidding.

Kind of.

Anywho, without sidetracking anymore, today I want to give a "thankful" shout out to the people in NYC who have conversations or just blurt things out that I am eternally grateful for being within earshot to catch it.

First up. Tonight while at the vet clinic, Matt and I were sitting patiently waiting for our dog's prescription and a woman wandered into the clinic with her dog. WHen asked if she needed anything, she responded with, "I'm not exactly sure if I do or not. I just encountered a woman on the street who came up to me and told me my dog was beautiful. Then she preceded to tell me that she is a dog whisperer and that my dog wanted to tell me that she has fun and fun and fun all the time, but when she walks, her back legs hurt a little."

Perplexed was pretty much everyone in the room. For real? A woman just walked up to you on the street and proclaimed being a dog whisperer? Crazy. Needless to say, the people in the clinic told her not to listen to strange people on the street about dogs. Especially one who claims they can tell you what your dog thinks. I mean, really?


Last night in our jazz club, the musician came up to me and complimented the drink that I had made him. Then he furthered it by telling me how happy I made him during the show because when I had to shake a cocktail during the show, I was in rhythm with the band. He then said, "Yeah man, it was, it was almost spiritual, it was so beautiful. That's what you are. Beautiful."

Um, awkward?

And Lastly for my most recent funny situation.

A woman came up to the bar and was buying something with a credit card. When I gave her the slip to sign with a pen, she complained that the pen didn't work. I found that funny because I had just used that pen for something else. So I gave her another pen to use. As she began trying to sign her name, she, once again, told me that my pens weren't working. She was actually a little irritated with me and my useless pens. I looked over and saw the problem. I reached over and just clicked that little button at the top of the pen to push out the ballpoint. Problem solved.

I felt like God gave me a fun little gift with that one.

So thank you world for just giving me fun little things to laugh about, as well as some random pictures of things I've seen in NYC that made me laugh as well.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Riggle me this, FUN

OK, so how many people have done something fun today? I haven't yet, but I'm about to do something incredibly fun; writing. Actually, I guess I'm doing that now.

Let's back track.

Yesterday, I had the day off, it was pretty bland, but I ended up realizing how much of my life is spent waiting for the next best thing to come along and change all of my life's problems. Well, that isn't going to happen. I have to do it myself. So, here we go with all of the depressing life analysis, and all of the dilemma, and all the existentialism, and blah blah blah.

I basically realized yesterday that I'm taking my life WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY to seriously to really enjoy what I'm doing here. So, I'm changing my attitude as of yesterday. I went to see two, yes two movies yesterday. Both of which were amazing, and both of which left me inspired to write something of equal caliber one day, or now. Who knows? But the thing is, for three hours, I remembered what fun felt like.

Granted over the past couple of weeks, I've been on an upswing of rejuvinated attitude and just really pouring myself into my writing and trying to open myself up to new experiences. So, from now on, I want to strive to do at least one fun thing today. It can be something simple like take a silly picture, or taking my dog to the park, or even playing with my dog at home. Or something bigger like a night out with my friends or whatever. The point is, I want to enjoy my life more. I want to take pride in the fact that I'm doing things that are fun. Some days will be more difficult than others, but I want to try to do this everyday.

And I want to challenge my friends to do the same. So, yes this is cheesey, but just indulge me and let's see if it makes a difference!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Riggle me this, choices.

In many relationships, people initially have a problem committing to one other person because they are keeping one eye on the door for the next hottest person to walk through, sweep you off your feet and carry you on to happiness. But what's weird is that what could be the right person for you could be right there with you at that moment, keeping both eyes on you. Meanwhile, you're missing out on what could be the best thing of your life because you're scared you're missing out on what hasn't even happened yet.

We do the same thing with other things in our lives. I moved here to NYC to be an actor. I spent so much time having my day job so that I could pursue my dreams with auditions. I tried so hard to keep as much free time so that I never missed a single one. I kept thinking, "what if this is the one I get?" It seemed to make sense. I gave up everything for what I thought was going to be my career. And I did it well for awhile. I booked shows, a national tour, and I missed family trips, Christmas, holidays, weddings, all of the normal events and celebrations that happen in life. I missed them all of them because I was so convinced that my next big break was right around the corner. And what do I have to show for it? Not a whole lot of material possessions, but I have gained a whole lot of insight for it.

I have decided that acting is truly a passion of mine, but it's not one I think I will end up committing to for the rest of my life. Not because I don't love the craft, I don't love the process of getting the jobs. That rat race is the worst thing in this business, even worse than the "you didn't get the job because you have green eyes, or you are too tall, or too short." And now, at the young age of thirty, I think about all of the opportunities I passed up on and missed out on. I think back to all of the times I went to upwards of five auditions in a day and didn't stop to make time for a friend. I told myself, "I'm sacrificing for a career. One day it will be worth it." And where am I now? I am in a place of judgment of what I do for a living, not sure of the next step in my life.

But why do I have to judge what I'm doing? No, it's not what I set out to do. It's definitely not what I went to college for. In my line of work, bartending/waiting tables, I don't know many people who are doing what they set out to do. I do, however, have friends on Broadway, or working at a job that they did, in fact, go to college for, and I think about if they're happy or not. Some of them are, and some of them aren't. What's funny is that my friends who didn't seek out some performance type of life are typically happy people. But, my friends on Broadway don't seem like they are. I have several friends who have credits coming out of their ass, but don't seem to be living the life they thought it would be. The bottom line is that every show closes, and every job ends, and then you're right back to where you started. So, yes, it's a somewhat pessimistic view, but why bother?

Currently, I work as a bartender. But, I feel the need to tell people that ask me what I want to do that I want to be a writer, a painter, an actor, a director, a producer, etc, and the list is so long I can't even bear to type it. I am curious at what people would say if the conversation went like this,

Guest, to me, "So, what do you want to do? What are you trying to do? I mean, you can't want to be a bartender forever."

ME, "Actually, this is what I want to do with my life, make drinks and server people."

Guest, "Oh so you want to be a mixologist? That's badass!"

Me, "No, a mixologist is someone who wants to create drinks, I just want to pour them and have you tip me for it."

End of discussion. Would that be so bad if my aspirations were to just be a bartender? Who am I trying to please anyways? It's difficult to tell my parents that this might be all I am doing at the moment. But, at least I'm doing something. And yes, I have things that I"m trying to do on the side, but why should I feel like I have to justify my life with trying to do something else? Granted, that's not who I am, but why should I feel like I have to do something else? It's almost like I'm running some invisible race against everyone else in the world and I have to win to garner respect and success.

Just like people with one eye on the guy in front of them and one eye on the door, I have been that way with my own personal life for as long as I can remember. "Never settle for less than you deserve," is something my parents instilled in me from the time I was little. But I never heard, "take some time to enjoy your life. Pause to really commit your life to someone. Spend extra time doing nothing so you understand how to relax so when you have to work your ass off, you appreciate your time off more." None of those things were said to me until I got a little bit older. I'm not blaming my parents for that, but I'm just saying, I was never told that taking time off was ok. And now, I feel guilty when I have two days off and no agenda for those days off.

And now, I'm at a point in my life that I'm happy to have learned the lesson of enjoying myself and taking time to just soak up all of the wonderfulness that is around me. Because let's take a look at how my life could have been different. Over the past few years there have been two people I could have dated but because I was focused on the "what if's" of my career, I missed out on them. I am certainly not mad about missing out on it, because it left me open to accept my current relationship in my life. And now, I have him, my dog and my life. And if I hadn't learned all of this, I might still be out trying to pursue acting everyday and being miserable, but scared to admit defeat and moving on to something else. I might not have learned that I love sitting in front of my computer and typing away as fast as I can, or love watching tv for more than satisfaction, but for a studying purpose.

So, I am now more aware of myself. I'm learning to be more accepting of who I am, good and bad. I'm learning to accept that I might never be an actor, but I can shift and change my mind at any point and it's ok. Whatever I want to do is my choice and that's all that matters. There are many aspects of my life that I simply cannot control, even though I try, but I'm learning to let it go.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Riggle me this, VOTING!!!

I am furious. I am outraged at what happened today.

No, I'm not talking about who won the elections in NY, or who won across the country, for that matter. I'm angry about the lack of people voting. This is your chance to make a difference. This election, in particular affects your way of life more than the presidential election. LOCAL POLITICS PEOPLE! That's how we get our president in the first place. The people we elect to represent us locally, represent us nationally. Their job is to take our voices to the national level to make sure what we want is heard and respected. So, why on Earth would anyone not be out voting today???

On Facebook, they had a little link as I logged in today that kept a tally of how many people on Facebook voted. I was amazed that the number reached into the millions so quickly and so early today. Yet, I was sad that by 4:00PM, roughly 7 million people had voted and only 70 of my 750 friends on facebook had done so. Granted, I can't be certain that they all clicked the box saying, "i voted," so, it's difficult to say how accurate that is.

But, then as I watched the election results later in the evening, I started noticing a trend among the polls. Every time they showed how tight the race was in each state, I started to look at the number of votes each candidate had. Vermont, for example had around 70,000 voting for one candidate and 50,000 for the other. That's around 120,000 people voting for a state that boasts close to 700,000 people living in it. So, that mean that the state of Vermont has 550,000 (give or take) people living in it under the voting age? I doubt it. Really people? The state of Wyoming had cast 12,000 votes and the state has 500,000 people in it, so what they're saying is they only have 12,000 adults in it? Please!

Why are so many people willing to allow just a mere 12,000 people decide the fate of themselves? Why don't more people take the 5 minutes out of their day that it takes to vote. I don't understand it! I am thirty years old and I have never missed an election in my life. Not one. I have voted in every single election since I was 18. No, I didn't and still don't always understand where every single candidate stands, nor will I ever, and I seriously doubt anyone else will either. Politicians are primarily focused on winning. So it's a serious amount of bullshit one has to weed through to figure out who stands where and who really means what they say.

I will never understand why anyone would think it's ok to complain about the people in office, but do nothing to have a say in who is in office. It's easy to judge and even easier to vote.

As to my friends on Facebook who didn't vote, I ask you why you even want to be my friend anymore? If you can't even care enough about your own state of affairs enough to protect your rights and your ideals and your morals, then you don't deserve my friendship; via Facebook or otherwise. To those people who are not my friend, who might even hate me for who I am, I ask you why? Why do you not stand up and oppose me for what I believe in, even if you so clearly support the opposite side? Why simply hand me the trophy? Or why simply hand it to the other side? Why give up?

There are so many people out there who are just like me, or just like you, or people that are younger that look up to you or me and what kind of example are you setting for them? Ask yourself, if I were my own child, would I be proud of the type of parent I am? Would I want to grow up to be like myself? Or would I be so ready to go the opposite direction?

I grew up in Wyoming in a fairly conservative house. It wasn't always easy, but one of the best things about it was that my parents taught me to be my own person and believe what I chose because I felt so strongly about it, not because they did. I am incredibly lucky to have parents willing to not only stand against me, but allow mt to stand against them. They encouraged many healthy political discussions and as much as my democratic friends in NYC don't believe it, the best political debates I've ever had are with my republican father. Not only is he wise, he is fair and willing to listen. He taught me to always listen to both sides of every situation and he also taught me to make my voice heard and to stand up for what I believe in and fight for what is right.

Yes, I'm incredibly fortunate, and I hope one day, I have a child who looks at me the same way. I hope to one day be able to continue on the saying of my father and tell my child, "I don't care who you vote for, just exercise your right to vote."

So I will say it to you. Exercise your right to vote.

Be Heard.

Be counted

VOTE!!! Damnit!