I know (revised)

"Why is so hard to tell you what I want? Why can't you just read my mind?

I know that I was wrong. I can't tell you that enough. I went through the motions there for a little bit. Maybe it was because I needed to figure out how to prepare myself for you. I lied when I told you that I thought it would have ended in just a few months. It was just my defense for being scared.

So, I returned your books with a rose. Yes I know you get flowers all the time. Trust me, I know how desired you are. I felt stupid sometimes with you because I knew that people looked at me as if they were saying, "how the fuck did you land him?" Trust me. I saw it all. That was one thing you never had to tell me. Maybe I felt inadequate. Usually I didn't, but sometimes yes, I did. Still, it's no excuse.

I played the game. Not because I could, but because I was scared to let go of myself. I am afraid that if I do, I'll get hurt worse than I hurt you. But, that's my issue to get over, not yours. It leaves me now desperate to see you where I always did, and sad when I don't. You've probably moved on. There must have been a thousand boys waiting in line behind me.

And yes. I want to try. Not half assed, but full on. The only problem is, I don't know if you want me to. I scanned your face for a simple sign, but you just sat on your iphone writing your thoughts. So yes, you deserved SO much more than I gave you, but I know it's there. It was never difficult to be with you. Only difficult to be without you and even moreso to hurt you. So then, it's there, just waiting for you to say yes.

(Original Posting)
I know everything I did was wrong.

I know that my timing was off

There's nothing more I can do,

so what's wrong with one small cliche?

I am bad with words so I put them out there

like it's all I have.

I'm bad with voicing the thoughts inside my head.

So much of it is me me me, I I I.

And none of it was you you you.

But that's for me to deal with and sadly, without you.

So, we'll get by and move forward, but from the line we just drew

No more us,

there's just me

and there's just you.

You'll go on and find something better

and I'll be alone, most likely, still searching.

And it's all ok because that's how it is.

We pick up our pieces and move on

And I'm amazed at how I don't learn.

So that's that.