Thursday, July 31, 2008

Boycotting McDonalds?

So, I believe our country has finally reached a new low; we're boycotting McDonald's. Yes, that fun-lovingwonderful company that gave us the 'secret sauce,' the happy meal and germ infested playlands. But the main question you're probably asking yourself is, "why are we boycotting McDonald's? is it because their food is gross and bad for you?" The answer is simply NO. We're boycotting McDonald's because they support the "gay agenda" which we all know is ruining the delicate fabric of our society.

Basically, according to, the boycott is about the McDonald's corporation for "refusing to remain neutral during the culture wars. McDonald's has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage." 

First of all, I didn't know we were at a culture war. What the fuck does that even mean??? Do I get up daily and strap on my gay-ass fatigues and get ready to sprinkle the world with my magic gay dust? Because I don't remember ever signing on for that when I received my pink card. Do I spout words of hate against these members of christian groups who feel the need to hold me back? Certainly not. I wish them all the love and forgiveness in the world. I mean, shouldn't someone forgive them? It must be so difficult to live with so much fear and hatred towards another person or group of people. 

And secondly, are they suggesting that McDonald's holds the key to reconciling what they believe to be the world's problems? By boycotting this one company, do they think the world will stop handing over billions upon billions of dollars for their fast food fix and suddenly realize that gay marriage isn't worth the cost of a precious big mac? Suddenly everyone is going to jump on the anti-gay bandwagon and enlist themselves as so called "servants from God" to preach their hate.

This is one reason why I never signed onto organized religion. Far too many crazy people have taken it to mean that because they believe in some higher deity, they have the right to judge and discriminate against anyone in the world. And really, aren't we all here to find some sort of peace and happiness? And if that's so, then how do we justify to ourselves the judgements we pass on others? Seriously, the bible says, "let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." Sometimes, I'd like to examine the lives of people judging me on a daily basis who don't even know me and see if they themselves are free of what they call sin. Then we can see who is passing judgement undeservingly. 

So, clearly the topic in debate is the "gay agenda." Why does there even have to be a "gay agenda?" Gay people just want to be afforded the same rights as every other human being in this country. Mostly, it's gay marriage, but it could be other things. But allowing two human beings the right to marry each other doesn't destroy the sanctity of marriage, it actually strengthens it. Divorce on the other hand, destroys the sanctity of marriage, yet no one wants to focus on that. Everyone seems to be focused on the fact that I might want to get married someday, and somehow that takes away from the meaning of a heterosexual marriage. I'm stumped by this. I don't know how I could affect two people in a union that I don't know and have nothing to do with. I will never meet these people face to face. I mean, I don't even know every gay person in this world, despite popular belief amongst straight college girls. The ones who ask upon finding out your sexual proclivities, "OMG! My cousin is gay and lives in Hawaii with his life partner Bill, do you know them???" (insert eye roll here.)

Now, I do respect everyone's right to an opinion. But there is scientific proof that being gay is not a choice. So, I don't respect anyone having the right to say, "you made your choice." Nope, being gay is not a choice. Coming out is a choice. Sleeping around is a choice. Condemning other people is a choice. There is no divine intervention about any of it. It's all a choice. You either choose one or the other. That's the basic right. Now, if someone told me, "I choose to believe that science is wrong." Well, that's a whole other ball of wax. I don't think the world needs to believe in gay marriage. Hell, I don't believe in straight marriage half the time. So, I'm not asking for agreement. I'm simply asking for people to look inside themselves before lashing out. Look at your own soul and decide if you are truly living without sin before boycotting Mickey D's. I think most people will find they can't in good faith condemn. 

As far as gay marriage and the gay agenda goes, it's happening. Whether you want it to or not, eventually gay people will have all of the same rights and benefits that straight people do. So, you can choose how you want to respond. Hopefully if your heart is filled with hate, your head will keep you fighting in silence, as opposed to violence. But that's my own hope. You look inside yourself and decide if you can judge or not...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My Work...Life's humor revisited.

So I work temporarily as a waiter. Being an actor, most of us find ourselves doing this from time to time to supplement our income. We have shit to do, bills to pay....

Don't fuckin' judge. 

Anywho. I've worked at a particular place off and on for 3 years now. Yup, I've been slingin' BBQ to the ungratefully wealthy, downtrodden trash and common folk of NYC now for 3 years. More than, actually. Time is flyin' when you're not really having fun.

Well, I've been back this time around for just about 3 months, and I've noticed something more consistent lately; people have the strangest requests about how they eat, where they eat and what they eat.  It's crazy! I don't think I'm this bad when I dine out, but some people are just fuckin' whack jobs.

Here's a list of things I encountered last night alone.

1. Table of four. They all wanted water, but it all had to be different. Guest number 1 wanted a LOT of ice in her water. Number 2 wanted NO ICE. He repeated it about 8 times to make sure it took to my brain because I'm obviously retarded. Guest number 3 wanted 4 ice cubes. 4! I was like, " are you kidding?!?" And guest number 4 wanted half her glass full of ice. 

OK, I'm all for accommodating my guests, but that was ridiculous. But the same table then asked me a question I've received a lot lately, but it's just so goddamn perplexing! 

"Do you have unsweetened lemonade?" 

Really people? I mean, really? Lemonade without being sweetened? Sure, let me just go squeeze a few lemons and you can have the juice! I mean, come the fuck on! Asking for lemonade with no sugar is like asking for me to be straight. It's not gonna fucking happen!

So that was just one fucking table. Just one. I had another table who refused to sign their credit card receipt with the pen I gave them. The lady insisted that I show her my collection of pens so she could chose her favorite. Hey crazy, I think I hear the insane asylum calling you home.

Another guest didn't like the particular glass I served her soda in. She prefers a mug instead of a water glass. Again, I'm obviously retarded and should have read her mind. And while that was happening, I had a man complain that his hot food was too hot and his plate was too cold. This one I didn't fully understand. The following is out dialogue;

Man, "Excuse me, sir. My plate is far too cold."

Me, "oh ok, I'll take it back for you."

Man, "No, my food is really hot, and I like it, but the plate is just cold."

Me, completely stumped, "I'm sorry, is that a problem."

Man, "yes, I mean, I don't want to be a pain, so whenever you have a chance, I'd like a really hot plate."

Me, still confused as to why the fuck he needs a new plate, "But, your food is fine, you just want a hot plate?"

Man, "Yes, I don't like my food to think I don't like to keep it warm."

I immediately walked away and brought this lunatic his hot plate. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? Are you serious? You think your food has feelings? This guys even crazier than the other lady.

Sometimes I feel my job is more to be an educator and a babysitter than to be a waiter. I feel the need sometimes to scold my guests and make them realize that it's just dinner. It's not that serious and they don't really  need the shit they think they do. So that inspires me to say no to simple requests that I know I could really do for them, but I want them to know that they are playing my game, and I'm NOT playing theirs. Sometimes, yes, it would be much easier to just simply let things go, and I do. I'm not always such a bitch. But, there are times when I'm feeling feisty or just simply "over it" and I don't wanna play. So, heaven help you when you get me on those days, because I'm a lot of fun, but, don't expect to get your favorite type of glassware, or rummage through my apron for your most desired pen in which to scribble your name on a piece of paper that will be thrown away later.

And finally I have to say to anyone who dares to read this, that I usually maintain my cool when I'm at work. Most people never know when I'm really upset or flustered because I prefer to keep it that way. Plus, I've got something running through my head while I'm running around being the best babysitter the upper crust of NYC can buy, 

"It's just dinner. It's not that serious."

Monday, July 28, 2008

Fierce Bitches

So I went out tonight with a couple of my buddies. I love them, as they are part of my foursome. Even though one of our foursome now resides in LA, we still all have a tight bond. But we went out to hiro tongiht. 

My main question that I pose to the gays of NYC is this. Why or where do you come off being a "fierce bitch?" We all know the types. Usually, a "fierce bitch" is someone who is desperate inside to be some sort of fashionista Miss Jay wannabe in H & M and Payless. 

(not that i have anything wrong with either establishment because i patron both)

Anywho, they are ready to throw down and cut a bitch at the drop of a hat. And trust, those hats look stupid on you. So does your faux hawk from 2003 and whatever eyeliner you think you need. It borders on mentally unstable. That's pretty much it. And while you think others are talking about you because we simply MUST be jealous, we're probably making fun of you. And come to think of it, if you smile, you might actually get laid because those boys you think you're too good for, are actually too good to take a snob like you home with them. 

So take that and good night. Love to my boys John and Ray Ray cause you're the best. And my love to Scott because we just love you, and because we saw a go-go boy dancing like a monkey tonight, so you were DEFINITELY with us in more than just spirit.


Sunday, July 27, 2008

My New Blog...

So everyone I freaking know that has a blog has this thing in which to write said blogs. 

I didn't.

(said in Mr. Movie voice) UNTIL NOW!!!!! (insert maniacal laughter here) 

Yes, I've joined the brigade of whiney teens with the fucking cellular telephones, and annoying housewives who have nothing better to do than get on here and bitch about their rich husbands. Seriously, why do teenagers even have cell phones? I mean, other than for emergency purposes? And those housewives! Fucking eat something and get involved in reality. 

Ok, so I'm having a little rant early in the day. Get over it. I just stereotyped two people and it's not even noon. I'm doing well for my Sunday. HAHA. 

Anywho, back to me blogging. I have a blog on (http:///  check it out...) But, I think i'll just be copy pasting some of them on here because some of that shit is HIGHLARIOUS! I'm a funny motherfucker. I am. You can laugh now.

Ok, so I'm off to hit up the gym, then the electric beaches, then work tonight.... BORING. I mean, wait, don't you wish you were me???

Later bitches.