Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter...And Other things.

I was fortunate enough to spend Easter with a family that isn't mine. It's a family much like my own, but slightly different. The way that they are much like mine is that everyone is different and everyone has different ideals about life, but the central focus of their lives is their family bond and most importantly, love. Like my family, they are remarkable, adaptable, unique and wonderful. 

It's always interesting  spending a holiday with another family because one never knows if their own family did things the same way, and you're always seeing into the private lives of another family. But, the Easter I just spent was very much like the ones I spend, or have spent with my own family. Everything from decorating eggs, hiding them for the kids, hanging out with the adults, to catching up on the latest family gossip, sharing in laughs, joy and lots of wonderful times.

So, for me, this Easter was particularly special, because I hit a turning point. I went to spend Easter with a family that I thought, "ok maybe one day I'll be a part of this family." I left this morning from their house yearning to become a part of their lives. I met the "in-laws," and while nervous, I found myself really enjoying myself. I got to see into the more personal life of someone I'm dating. And I found myself falling in love a little bit deeper. 

I got to spend a fun three days with a family that's not my own and felt like I belonged. I hope that one day, I do belong to that family and can just add those wonderful people to the family that I already have, know and love.

Friday, April 3, 2009


A lot of people spend their whole life looking for love. I know that I have a great deal of love in my life. I know that I'm a pretty lucky guy. I have tons of friends, and great relationships with my parents and family. But, I've always wondered how love works between two people of a romantic nature. More or less, I've tried to define it. Truth is, it's not definable. 

I know that it's there in the sandwich left for me in the fridge when I get home from work, even if the words I love you aren't written on it. I know it's there for me in the layers of blankets and pillows set up on the floor when I come home from a hard day and get pampered with a massage. I know it's there in the small gifts or surprises I get throughout the day. Love is very much in the text messages that I receive, the voicemails I get, or the notes and letters and cards. It's crazy how a feeling and emotion can exist without being seen, but just felt. 

Inside my whole being, I feel it. And it's crazy because I never thought I'd be this guy. The "i love you" kind of guy. I figured I'd just live on my own for a long long time. But now, I have someone I want to spend time with, someone I completely just love having around for no other reason then we have fun. But I'm sitting in my living room just past 2 in the morning and I know that I am loved. How lucky am I for that?

Another day...

I haven't written about work in awhile and tonight was a really good night at work, so I thought I'd share. I was feeling a little bit feisty tonight, so it made everything a little bit better. Plus, everyone at my tables were pretty awesome and willing to play back with me so it got really good.

My first great experience came with a party of 10. I was dropping off alcoholic drinks, and an infant of about 7 months reached for my tray. This next convo was amazing.

Me(as the infant reached for the tray) No no sweetie, you might not want those. (then to her mother) Or maybe she's trying to start young.

Mother- Well you know she wasn't on the bottle at all, but she keeps reaching for everyone's beer bottle. I don't know where she gets it.

Me- Uh-oh. You'd better keep an eye on her. She'll probably grow up to be a stripper.

Mother died of laughter and told the story several more times during the night. 

Second table was pretty awesome. It was a family of four. Parents and two boys, one gay and one not gay.

When the food arrived I went back to check in with everyone and the gay child (around 7 or 8) looked at me and said, "Everything is excellent" with a slight lisp and head tilt that makes me want to set aside his gay manuel and send it to him when he turns 18. I mean, the kid will need some help.

Later on, I walked to the table and apparently the father did something rude but I heard the following conversation.

Mom- Just because your father does it sometimes doesn't make it polite.

Kid- Well then, I can't wait to be an adult, You wanna know why, mom?

Mom- Why?

Kid- Because then I can do whatever the hell I want to. Just like Dad.

AMAZING! That kid was about 10. 

Thursday, April 2, 2009


I have come to realize something today. Everyone is living the "leading role" of their own lives. So, no matter what happens, a person can actually justify any of their own actions. It's funny how we can hurt other people, or be hurt by others, lie to people, be lied to, and in our own personal view, it's all about ourselves. But, that makes sense, because we're living our own lives. So we can either forgive people for the wrong things they've done, or we can't. But the beauty of the situation is we will do what we think is best for ourselves first. Or should, but that's a whole other situation.

The other thing i've come to realize, and I'm sure it's really hippie/crunchy for me to think this... But we are all beautiful people. We all deserve greatness in our lives. Every one of us. There isn't a person out there that I think doesn't deserve good things in their life. I have a really close friend who, for whatever reason, can't see the good. For some reason she's decided that she isn't getting what she wants. I don't know how to help her move forward to see how to get closer to her goals. I don't know how to get her to see that she deserves to have happiness in her life. It's so crazy. I wish she could see herself the way I see her. She'd see that she is such a wonderful person, inside and out, someone who takes care of her family, her friends. Everyone who knows her, knows how great she is, how beautiful she is, and how talented. It just comes down to believing it beyond all reason.

All i'm saying is, my friends are beautiful people. If they weren't, we wouldn't be friends. And I'm also saying that there are two sides to every story, it just depends on who you talk to. Some people look at things differently because, like I said, "leading role."