Sunday, June 14, 2009

Long Time Coming...

I haven't written for a very long time. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because the last few months I've been in some really desperate need of soul searching. Maybe it's because I took on a second job that ruined every aspect of my social life. Maybe it's because I became consumed with a relationship. Maybe it's just because I simply couldn't find the time. But today, I decided I had to write a few things about the past few months. Or few weeks, which were most important anyways.

So, backtracking to April. I spent a lot of time working on a show that is now about to begin a rehearsal period then open for the summer. It's been a fun time of casting, some rehearsals, and now we're about to begin. It's been wonderful. There was a stint in there that I was working at a restaurant and also bartending at a lounge. The lounge turned out to not be the best place for me, but I managed.

Anywho, a couple of weeks ago, I went up to Maine to see a show. I few of my friends were in it, as well as one of my dearest friends in the world. This particular friend was the catalyst for my going to see the show, and it so happens that I haven't seen this girl perform since college. And since college was some time ago, we'll just say that's a LONG time. HAHA. Anywho, I prepped my traveling companion for the brilliance that he was about to see when she came to the stage. How amazing she's always been, how her voice is gorgeous, and how I was excited to see her in a role I hadn't seen her do before. (We did this show in college and she was a different part. just to clue everyone in.)

So, I spent all of this time prepping him for how great she is, when, in reality, I should have been prepping myself. What happened on stage was almost miraculous. No amount of boasting of this girl's talent kept me even in the ballpark for what she did on that stage. She was funny, charming, sassy, beautiful, and just overall flawless. I've always known this girl was talented. But that isn't quite it. Talent isn't even the right word to describe her. I've seen people perform that I always thought they were good, but this girl, she is truly remarkable. I have to remind myself that I am this girl's friend. It's truly an honor and a blessing that she is in my life, aside from the kick ass stage antics.

But, the best thing is, she has no clue how amazing she really is. I don't think she ever will. But, it's her own gracious humble attitude that keeps her grounded. This particular job was a long time coming, but, it came and now I believe that she will be on a new wonderful journey because of it. So, if you read this, then just know that if you know a woman named Christine LaDuca, then you are in the presence of greatness.

Moving on to this weekend. Or rather, today. Today is a bittersweet day in my life. I just got to Provincetown, MA, for what will be my second time. But, that's not what's really important. What's really important is that today, I realized something about the past year of my life. I believe that an angel was sent to me. I believe that I have exhibited some destructive behavior over the last year, and someone upstairs wanted me to have this angel in my life. Because no matter what I said or did, he stayed with me. He fought me to see through all of my faults and find goodness again. He stayed by my side even when I told him, falsely, that I wanted him to go. He saw through all of the badness and the crap, and found me.

I realized all of this while watching him drive away. Yup, he has gone for the summer. Well, really, I've gone. I decided to come up to P-town for my show and I've left him to fend for himself in NYC. But, he kindly agreed to come with me to bring me up here. And it was watching him leave that everything bad thing I've said to him suddenly became a regret in my head. Every ignorant action I made over the last year suddenly seemed so trivial. Because at that moment of watching him, I realized how truly lucky I am that he found me. I am so lucky because I have love in my life. I have something to really hold on to. A gift like this only comes once in your life, maybe more if you're really special, but for me, I'm pretty sure it's just a one time occurrence. I know some of my friends reading this are probably about to vomit, but it's just something so good, I can't help myself. Things that used to make me feel jaded and vile over, I suddenly love. The influence is completely positive, so let's just leave it that I'm one of the lucky ones.

I truly am.