Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Riggle me this, I'm back!

So, I took a little time off from my blog. I can only justify this by saying that all of my favorite television shows took the month of March off, so I felt like I could do the same thing. I've been busy though, writing other things, just nothing I want to put up on the internet yet, but I'm loving taking the time to write and just create things. I could take a nose dived side bar into how I love to hear the rapid typing of the keys when I"m truly inspired, but I'll spare you the boring details of all of my personal quirks!

So, what's been going on. Some loose anecdotes of bartending! Let's start there. A few weeks ago, I was at the end of the bar talking to one of the other bartender's girlfriends, Darci. Sitting next to her was this old lady who began asking me a question about the bologna sandwich that we used to have on the menu. I began talking to her about it, as that's my job, and informed her, mistakenly that it was coming back to the menu. I thought that was the end of the conversation and I walked away to help other guests and whatnot.

When I came back to her, she had more questions. I obliged, went on my way, then she called me over again and had even more things she wanted to talk about, still on bologna. In my head, I was like, "bitch let it go!" But she was REALLY interested in this fucking sandwich. So, finally, I catch Darci out of the corner of my eye, holding back a laugh and passing over her empty glass with a bar napkin underneathe. She says to me, "I think you need to take that away."

Happily, anything to get me away from crazy lunchmeat lady! I took one look at the bar napkin and on it, Darci had written, "who eats bologna anyways?" I about died.

Not even a few minutes later, a nasty french man came up to the bar with his unfortunate wife and he ordered a "Framboise-Peche." With two glass so that could share. Side note. This is a champagne style beer her ordered, however he ordered two flavors, so they can't share one.

So I asked him which he wanted, the framboise or the peche, to which he was totally confused, as he clearly had little grasp on communication skills, though he knew English quite well. I stuck with it and eventually came to the conclusion of which flavor he wanted.

SO I opened the beer and being that it's champagne style, it gets poured directly into the glass with a small stream down the center of the glass, not the glass tipped to the side. THe man looked at me in disgust and said, "ugh, you're pouring it wrong." To which I responded, "excuse me?" and then he literally snatched the beer and the glass out of my hand and said, "I'll just do it myself!"

I saw his credit card on the bar and just ran it and slammed the copies of paper down in front of him, it took everything in me not to ram my wine key up his fucking nose, but I refrained, keeping my shit together and eventually laughing because what else could i do? He was some douchebag who wouldn't be there much longer and I can keep it together, right?

But now that I think about it, I've NEVER had something snatched out of my hands before in my entire life, and that includes when I was a small child. I can't recall a time, ever, that my mother or father or my sisters ever took something away from me with such force. Sure they took things away that I wasn't supposed to be playing with, but never a snatch. I kinda want to find this asshole and let him know that I'm thiry fucking years old and he's a prick, however, I think that might not really be very affective.

Anywho, not long after that, I was on the subway being pushed into the car by some bitchy lady. She was actually pushing me into a stroller with a child in it who's mother was trying to get situated in the center of the car. The woman behind me said, "excuse me go in," very bitchily, so I turned and glared at her and indicated why I couldn't move further in. To which she, again, very bitchily said, "i need to get in the car!" So i just turned to her and rudely said, "there's a stroller in front of me, I can't move!" I thought that would be the end of it but then she said, somewhat under her breath, "ok, calm down, don't get so worked up" and out of the corner of her eye, I saw her roll her eyes and mock me, so I had to respond with, sarcastically under my breath, "don't be a bitch."

And that was the moment I found out that her husband was stand with her. Of course he was pissed and gave me an, "excuse me? what did you say?" So I just stayed silent, when really I should have gotten into a fight with him. He was definitely shorter than me and TINY! I totally could have taken him. I mean, no I shouldn't have called the woman a bitch, but seriously, she was pushing me into a child filled stroller. I"m pretty sure if that man and his wife had the child, and someone was being pushed into them, they'd be pretty pissed off. Maybe they are just angry people. I don't know them so I can't say much about it, but she was a bitch. And I said it. And while most people don't like being called out, fuck her. She got it, and she deserved it.

So, yeah, sometimes, I behave in such a way in public that I'm surprised I haven't gotten my ass kicked yet, and maybe one day I will, but for the time being I'm pretty proud of being able to stand up for myself more and I'll just take what comes.

Riggle me that, bitches!