Riggle me this, why is it so difficult?

I have a lot of friends who claim they are "ready for a boyfriend." I think knowing you are ready for something like that is definitely the first step towards getting what you want. But what happens next? Do you just go out and find it like a simple snap of your fingers? Do you troll the internet looking for a hookup in hopes that they might turn into something else? Or do you hit up the bars with your friends hoping that the bartender or one of the patrons might actually strike up a conversation and it could lead to something more?

I think what you're supposed to do is all of the above. I mean, really put yourself out there with the best intentions and hope for the best. I suppose that's what I did. Granted, that doesn't make me an expert, but I can at least share what I've learned.

Too often, my friends or whoever tell me that it's very difficult to meet someone. It's actually not difficult to meet anyone at all. It's difficult to find someone who's willing to jump with you; someone who's willing to put themselves in harm's way in the possibility of getting hurt. It's scary. That part is definitely something I know a lot about.


Sometimes, I wonder what made my boyfriend stay with me. I try to imagine my life without him and I simply can't. Yes, I know how lucky I am. I have someone who literally has stayed with me through a lot of bad, but also a lot of good. He is someone who supports me without question and constantly challenges me to be a better person. In the beginning of our relationship, I wasn't so aware. I was like everyone else I know; scared out of my mind.

I thought that if I was in a twosome, suddenly I lost too much of my one-ness. I thought that I would become someone I didn't know. I also thought that my life would just become so boring and I would end up resenting and regretting my choice. But now I now that it's just not how it is. I found someone who really has improved my life.

Someone told me recently that he didn't know me anymore. Well, yeah. I've become someone even I didn't know. I used to make fun of the people like me. The people who were in love. I used to joke that love was for suckers and that I would never fall in love. Here's a little secret, I only did that because I really wanted it. It was so much easier to make fun of love than own up that I was just as sappy and romantic as everyone else. So, it's easy to imagine not knowing me when I didn't let anyone know me.


But that's how it goes, right? When we're single, we tend to hold back from fear. Fear of being judged, of putting ourselves out there and getting hurt. Isn't that how it happens? We sit around and tell ourselves that we just haven't met the right one, and more importantly, it's never our own fault. We can't possibly be the ones that are crazy. We aren't the ones that do anything wrong, oh no. And if you think you haven't ever done something like this, well maybe you haven't. But chances are, you have. And it's one shitty thing to realize. Trust me, I know there are several people in this city who think I'm insane. And from their perspective, they would be right. If they knew the whole scenario, they might re-think everything. And as much as I hate to admit all of that, it's true.

However, that's not the point, now is it?

SO, back to the whole relationship thing. I know someone who recently said that it's far more easier to meet someone if you're heterosexual than homosexual. Well, that's just not true at all. I know far more straight people who are single than gays. I mean, look at how many websites we have for meeting each other. Yes, most of them are hookup sites, but they still connect us. We seemingly outnumber the straight people of the city, have so many bars and parties to go to that it seems we are in CONSTANT contact with each other. Straight girls, I think, have the worst deal in the city. They are our best friends and are always just meeting more gay men. I mean, one of my best friends has finally gotten into the habit of meeting a new gay with, "you're gay? I'm sure you're a lovely person, but I already have my quota of you people." And that's not such a bad thing to do, she needs to meet more men. As do all of the women I know.

In reality though, it's difficult to meet anyone, anywhere. THere isn't a city in the world where you won't hear single people talking about how hard it is to meet someone. But then, let's start from the beginning. Are you really ready for someone? Are you ready for someone to come into your life, possibly make a small mistake, or be rude, or take you for granted, and stay around? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying mistakes like

cheating or beating you. But, I'm just wondering. Out of everyone I know that says they are ready, are you really ready for something? Or do you want something easy and one-sided? Because then you'll know.