So, why ARE the girls just so angry?
This is something I wonder about every time I encounter angry lesbians. I just don't get it! I know a few lesbians that I get along with famously, but there are some that just seem to hate anything with a penis. Some tend to hate cute little gay boys even more, something that I will just never understand.
Last night, at work, this is what happened.
I greeted my table of lesbians with a pleasant "hello," and "how are you?" And was greeted with a grunted "hi," with an added eyeroll from the more butch woman once he looked me up and down. The second lesbian was a little bit nicer, clearly the lipstick lesbian of the twosome, minus the cute factor. She was a little, but not much nicer.
Their drinks were pretty typical, the butch one ordered a beer (typical) and a water and the lipstick said to me, "I'll have two glasses of water, room temperature, as if they've never had a thought of ice a day in their life." For real. That's what she said to me. I was like, um, ok crazy.
So then, as is standard in my line of work, I was multi-tasking. Big surprise for a waiter. But as I was getting drinks for several tables, they apparently felt they were waiting too long, so they pulled aside the sweet little host and told her they were very upset, very, very, very upset with how long their drinks were taking. This was informed to me as I was carrying a tray of about 14 drinks to my section. I did make sure to drop of their drinks first, but instead of a thank you for their drinks, I got, "so, i'm gonna have..." That's when I stopped her and told her that I would be right back. Instead of saying, "ok," I got, "we're ready to order now. hurry back."
So, I was trying to figure out how to be nice to them without being condescending or losing my cool with them. So I went back and took their order. Each of them had about 6 or 7 special requests for their food. This is something I don't understand about people in restaurants. 1 or 2 things different, ok, but seriously, 6 or 7 each. Why even bother coming out? Stay the fuck at home! Anywho, as they were ordering they each made a point of repeating everything about 3 times and slower each time as to make sure that I (apparently ignorant and stupid) understood the words coming out of their mouths. Then, the kicker was that the man of the table then says to me, "and that can all come out as it's ready, we're really not fussy at all."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? NOT FUSSY, MY ASS! I had a full fucking page for both of their special requests! We're not fussy. O-M-G!!! I wanted to punch them both in the vagina. (and no i don't support violence towards women or anyone, so don't get all up in arms about this and call the authorities on me or anything crazy).
So, if you think it's done then, you'd be mistaken. Every few minutes they needed something new. The manly one pointed out that her blue cheese dressing tasted more like ranch and didn't actually believe that it was what she ordered. Then her salad didn't have asparagus in it. Then, her girlfriend didn't have enough intelligent conversation to add, god only knows what their problems were, but they became MY problems.
Newsflash people! I'm a waiter, not a therapist. Don't unload on me because that's what happens in the movies. We're not best friends. We are in a 2 hour relationship because I want your money. Basically I'm your whore for 2 hours, you pay me, then I never see you again. That's how this is supposed to work. So don't give me your life story because I don't care!!!
And maybe, just maybe, I'm the one that's angry and not the lesbians, but I still blame them. And I will never have the answer to why lesbians hate men and gay men so much, but I will continue to try to bridge that gap somehow!
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