A poem for today.

I found some pictures in a box.
A box I hide away.
I click the lock up nice and tight
But somehow it never stays.

I see the face of the man I was
though it doesn't seem like me.
I see the man I was once long ago
and wonder how it could be.

These faces of the men we were.
Are now the signs of strangers
I try to remember the love we had
but all I feel is anger.

You are different now than you were before
And somehow I am too.
You etched yourself right on my heart
my permanent tattoo.

This reminder of what we shared
I can never let it go.
And even though I hide away
I'll forever be on hold.

Do you think of me as I do you?
And the way we used to be?
Or do you run and hide away
Pretending we're now free?

Some days are hard, for sure,
The nights are lonely too.
I can only hope that someday
We both begin anew.

So the box that I can't lock up
I store it behind a chair.
I look inside from time to time
And imagine you with me there.

This box of mine I hide away
And struggle to keep it shut.
Reminders of how close we were
And how deeply I'm stuck in rut

Will the one day we dreamed of ever come?
Or were you lying then?
I hope, I pray, I hide away
And try not to think of when.

So I push the box aside
And erase you from my mind.
As pointless as it may seem
'Cause my love for you is blind.

I've wished you well, you said it back
but did we mean the lines?
I somehow know, in my heart of hearts
You were forever mine.

And I was yours, at least for then
So why can't I let go?
And turn this box inside out
And teach myself to grow?

I'll carry on and you will too
Reminded of the past
Of how scarred we are, from the love we had
And how some things never last.

I'll push the box aside again
and pretend I don't know what's inside.
The memories will drift away
My heart, closing wide.

And back and forth, again, again
The ending is never near.
I'll take whats mine and give yours back,
this box that's filled with fear.

And once again, I'll close it up
Knowing that I won't mind
If some rainy day you come back again
Our hearts again entwined.

So I'm hiding inside this box
Afraid to let it go.
Afraid of what would happen then
And just how big my heart could grow