Riggle me this, A-list=Asshole

So much has been going on and I just haven't had the time write anything about it.


So this past Monday night, I worked this event for a benefit for the Ali Forney center. The host of the evening invited me and Matt to bartend for the entire event. It was a wonderful event that helps out a really great cause and I was truly honored to be a part of the entire thing.

I didn't really know what to expect when I got there, but it turns out they found a liquor sponsor to donate a product for the event. GIVEN, pronounced jee-vahn. The man who created this product even decided to be there for the event to make sure things went well. This liqueur is a combination of Tequilla, lime juice, and sauvignon blanc grapes. Sounds gross right? Well, it was not so bad, but it ended up being kinda disgusting after the second or third drink.

So we get there to bartend for the green room before and during the show, and then pour drinks for the after party. Sounds simple enough, and everything was going so well until around eight o'clock, when we had been there for a few hours already, two new bartenders show up that had been hired by the guy with the alcohol. I was stumped. What I didn't really understand was if the guy who owned the alcohol was going to his his own people to run the event, why did I have to be there at all? I didn't mind, but it was just one of those things. Ya know?

So, it was a guy and a girl. Horribly stupid and just ignorant. The guy was someone who works through model bartenders. If you have never heard of this, check out the website (you have to google it because I refuse to support the site through my own.).
It's basically a site dedicated to catering events that need bartenders, but if you want someone pretty, then you go through them to hire the models who like to call themselves "bartenders." Basically just pretty people trying to do something that other people do for a living.

And yes, this guy was gorgeous, but a total tool. Yes, I said that lovely term from the nineties; tool. He was the complete embodied definition of this word, in slang form. He just kept talking about what he knew about spirits in general, and how he works for this model bartender thing, and blah blah blah. Keep in mind he kept explaining our product to people incorrectly. But then the pinnacle moment came when he, once again, was explaining what he was doing with his life, defined himself as a "mixologist."


My jaw hit the floor. WHHAAAAAAAAAAAT???? I had three reactions to this. 1. In my head, I punched him in the face. And thinking about it again, I mentally punched him in the face again. 2. I had to wonder if he even knew what that word meant. And 3. I wanted to lean over and say, "Sweetie, I know you think you have a big dick, but um, no."

I mean, for real.


But, the night got even better!

Two cast members from the mis-hit show, the A-list, on LOGO, were there to help with the event. Ryan, a successful hair stylist, and TJ, his assistant. If you don't watch the show, you're really not missing anything, but to recap quickly, these two are very outspoken, especially TJ, and they also seem to have taken on the roles of the dictators of public etiquette. They tell just about everyone on the show how to behave in public. So, from watching the show, I had originally determined that Ryan and TJ were somehow redeemable. Then they showed up in public. Ryan still isn't so bad. But TJ. FOr Real. Let's discuss.

There were several moments when a few broadway stars were warming up in the green room and all TJ could say to one of his friends was, "this is my hell. I can't believe I have to sit through this shit." WHAT? Then standing outside of the performance space and talking shit to anyone who would listen about the people on stage performing. WHAT WHAT? and then overall just being a catty bitch to everyone. I mean I couldn't believe it. I really felt like the show tried so hard to say "look everyone, this is the rich gay life that you should want." Well, those people are assholes. And if that's the rich gay life, I don't want it. I'd rather just be poor and happy.

And where do you get off criticizing broadway performers who just want to help make a difference in the world? People are utilizing their talents to make things better. And what are you doing, TJ? You're an assistant. You organize someone else's fabulous life and because you're loud and obnoxious, you landed yourself on television. Good for you! You've made a living just riding on the coattails of someone else, and someone that makes you entitled, right? I mean, that's what your behavior tells everyone. So, grow the fuck up, because no one gives a shit how many parties you get into, or how many people know who you are, you are still a trashy human being who doesn't know the first thing about humanity.


So on that happy note, I hope you all go out into the world and spread happiness!!!