Riggle me this, Really?

The other day, I was on the train heading downtown. I got in and sat down. On one side of me, there was one empty seat. On the other side there were three empty seats. I was really comfortable and peacefully listening to my ipod. It was a pretty good day so far.
Until some asshole got on the train.

This douchebag had his sunglasses on still, because you know how bright the lights are on the subway. And then decided to take up all three seats next to me. And this guy legit needed two, but took up three because he needed to spread his legs out to each side as far as they would go.

OK pause. What gives, guys? Why do you need to have your legs as wide apart as they will go when you sit? Are you airing out your tiny peenie? Or are you that insecure in your own masculinity tat you need to protect yourself from touching anyone else around you? I don't get it.

Anywho, back to the d-bag. He sits down, excuse me, postulates almost an entire row of seats, and begins CHOMPING on his gum. I'm a gum chewer and I understand that sometimes you make noise when you chew. However, this guy's mouth was totally open and he was destroying his gum. He actually almost looked like some sort of farm animal, namely a cow or a llama, and just went to town on this crap in his mouth. It was annoying. So, I did what anyone would do, I just turned up my music to ignore him, but no such luck. Rather than blast my ear drums out, I decided to keep my music low and just deal.

Oh and did I mention that two babies on the train were screaming their heads off, too? Because they were. Keep that in mind for this next part.


As we were nearing my station of departure, the man turns to me and says, between chomps, "Can you turn down your music, it's really annoying?" WHAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT???

I didn't know what to do or say. I mean, are you freaking kidding me with this? And granted, there were only about 30 more seconds until we were at the station I needed to leave from, so I just turned and looked at him with my bitchy stare, turned back to my original direction and turned my music up. Fuck you asshole!


Riggle me that.